Thursday, November 13, 2008

You Too Can Sound Like an ESPN Fool

-credit to Awful Announcing Blog for this one-

It's the ESPN Sportscaster Microphone! I haven't read the back of the box, but I'm pretty sure it says something like this:

  • Learn to make sentences without a subject or predicate like Emmitt Smith.
  • Voice over your own "Coors Lite 6-Pack of Questions" and other corporate sponsor announcements.
  • Tell tired jokes like Chris Berman.
  • Pretend to know the game of football like Pam Ward.
  • This can all be your for $19.99!

OK, what did I miss?

3 comments:

Gellman said...

Make pointless topics seem like they are all important like Sean Salisbury!

Call a baseball game without knowing anything about the team that is playing like Joe Morgan!

Be the go to guy on the draft and get completely outclassed by the NFL network like Mel Kiper!

Speak in complete hyperbole like Stuart Scott!

Oh, man, dont get me started.

Chris Harris said...

Can you hollow it out and pack it with Canadian deux-deux-deuxs?

JRJ said...

Gellman - Good one... I missed the Joe Morgan one. Very nice.

Maybe FoxSports will come out with one too. Imagine the Tim McCarver-isms that could be done.

Chris-A Canadian version would be perfect!